Spring time Kindness

Late Winter and Spring are truly beautiful in the Cape. With our wet Winter, there is simply an abundance of green and fields of wild flowers all over. I am in awe of God's incredible gifts to us in this beautiful place. 

I do the school run three times a day. Each drive takes me past our local garden Centre and they often have trays of flowers right on the road, encouraging the passersby to come in and shop. At this time of year it's usually Petunias and Pansies... I love Petunias and Pansies.

 

For this little project I collected as many small plastic pots as I could (people seem to be happy to part with these) and I painted them white. The boys and I planted Petunias and I then gave them to anybody that I thought would enjoy them - just as a random act of kindness. I mostly gave them to people I know well, but want to do this again and bless some unsuspecting neighbours. Just leave one on their doorstep with a sweet note. That would be fun to do with the children. :)

One six pack of Petunias is very inexpensive and can bring six smiles... six different smiles. :)

Is it Spring time where you live? What kind of Spring time fun do you get up to?

Esteem Theme of the Week: Unique

 

Here's our first (self) esteem theme of the week. 

The idea -  to focus on a chosen theme word for the week - any word relating to "character".

I add a Bible verse, which we memorise, and we talk about the meaning of the chosen word. We also add a fun activity or activities to help us remember the word (and the verse).

This not only teaches my boys a great new word, but hopefully makes them realise how important it is to be aware of it in their own lives. In that sense, it becomes an esteem builder. And of course, by memorising Bible verses, we put God's word into our hearts and we make it part of who we are. I want that for my boys.  

Our word this week: Unique

(one of a kind; different to everyone/everything  else)

Our verse: Psalm: 139.14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, 

I know that full well."

Now what do aliens have to do with an esteem theme? Well, it is a fun way to drive home the concept. Little One has certainly remembered the word and loved the idea of "Unique Aliens" :) 

It's a very easy craft: 
You need polystyrene cups (from the Supermarket); balls (found at PNA); pom poms; pipe cleaners; and googly eyes.  We used toothpicks to attach the balls to the cups and then added the embellishments. And most importantly,  each one had to be unique, of course.

As we progress, I'll share more themes and activities. Let me know if you like the idea. I always love hearing from you.

Till next time...

PS. Shared at For The Kids Friday and The Sunday Showcase. 

Hermie, a common caterpillar by Max Lucado

I review for Booksneeze - have you heard of them? They offer books to bloggers for free and in return they ask that you review the book for them. Today I'm sharing the story of Hermie, a common caterpillar.

I must say that after reading my very first (and absolutely wonderful) Max Lucado book last year, I was really thrilled to hear that he is also the author of many children's books. So I jumped at the chance to read this one and also to share it with my boys.

The story is about Hermie, and Wormie his best friend,  who meet a number of other insect friends during the course of their day. All of these friends however, have some very special and attractive qualities and as a result these two rather ordinary caterpillars feel quite inadequate in comparison. Hermie and Wormie decide to take their feelings to God, who constantly assures them that he is not done with them yet and that patience is required. Now I don't know about you, but I think that comparing ourselves to others certainly robs us of our joy and this story shares this idea very nicely. There is a lovely (albeit predictable) and inspiring ending and the overriding message that we are all unique and that God has a special plan for each of us is delivered beautifully. I also love the fact that the caterpillars talk to God about their concerns - I think that's a great message for children to hear too.

This book was unfortunately only available as an e-book and I would certainly not recommend this version. Big One (aged 9 at the time) and I read it together and were very puzzled by the lay-out. The images do not always match the text on the page and as a result the book doesn't flow easily and we both found the story to be confusing. I was lucky enough to recently find a soft copy of the book at the library, so I did a little comparison. This copy was far easier to read, in that the illustrations are complimentary to the text, and the illustrations were nicer.  All in all a huge improvement from the e-book version. 

I would definitely keep this one on my bookshelf as a regular read to my children, as I think the message it delivers is fantastic.

Thank you Booksneeze for the opportunity to review Hermie!

PS. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed here are my own.

Teaching Kindness

I think most of us would like to be thought of as kind individuals...I also think that we would like our children to possess this quality, but have you ever thought about how children become kind? Can you teach kindness? I think so. For me it comes down to this ...you need to be what you want your children to be. You need to teach by doing, not preaching! It's a simple truth...a behaviour modeled and observed is far more powerful than a behaviour spoken about.

Now speaking of kindness, this past December, I was bowled over by Katherine Marie's advent post, where she committed to 24 acts of kindness running up to Christmas day. (To read about it, do go see here). But even more impressive, is that Katherine has decided to continue with her kindness mission and has challenged fellow readers to commit to 52 weeks of random acts of kindness in 2011. Quite extraordinary don't you think?! Katherine has called this amazing project 52 Smiles and has given lots of wonderful ideas and inspiration over on her website, so be sure to check it out.

I have certainly been inspired and so have decided to take up this challenge. I would really like to focus on kindness and compassion in 2011 and in making it part of my life, I know I'll be instilling it in my children. They will join me for the ride! Now, I don't know what it is like where you live, but here in South Africa we really have many opportunities to be kind...without having to look very far. On a daily basis South Africans are approached at their homes and in their cars (at traffic intersections and shopping malls) and we are asked for food, clothing and money. We have such high rates of unemployment here, that others begging is a part of our lives and honestly, sometimes one can even feel a bit harassed. (Just keeping it real) For me personally, this year I want to always give with a generous and happy heart and I want to give more intentionally. I also want to share my plans with my children and I want to act on it.

Maybe you want to join me for the ride too? I'll keep you posted now and again of our efforts.

Take care till next time...

PS. Yesterday here in Cape Town it was about 35 degrees Celsius, so my postman knocked on my door with a huge grin on his face. Being kind felt really good!

A Parenting Philosphy

Most of my post university training has been in the field of play therapy. I have attended many play therapy courses over the years, but one that really stands out for me, was a course by Garry Landreth, a child-centered play therapist. Child-centered play therapy is, as Garry puts it, a philosophy for living one's life in relationships with children. It is for this very reason, that I feel compelled to share some of this philosophy with parents.

Garry wrote a wonderful book called Play Therapy-The Art of the Relationship. The last time I read it, was probably before I became a parent. I have recently read it again and it has been so enlightening to look at the philosophy through parent eyes, rather than merely therapist eyes. Something that I want to share with you is what Garry says about how children should learn through play therapy. (I must mention, that when he refers to play therapy, he is referring to child-centered play therapy.)

He says this:

• Because children are allowed to be fully themselves, with no criticism, suggestions, praise, disapproval or any efforts made to change them, they learn self-control and responsible freedom of expression.

• Because children are respected and not evaluated, regardless of their behaviour, they learn to respect themselves.

• Because all their feelings are accepted and understood, even the intense ones, children learn that their feelings are acceptable.

• Because they are allowed to express their intense feelings, they are able to learn how to responsibly control their feelings.

• Because children are allowed to struggle to do things for themselves, they learn to assume responsibility for themselves and to discover what that responsibility feels like.

• Because children are allowed to figure things out for themselves and to come to their own solutions to problems, they learn to be creative and resourceful in confronting problems.

• Because children are allowed to control their own behaviour (within the careful use of therapeutic limits) and can make their own decisions, they learn self-control and self-direction.

• Because they are accepted just as they are, with no conditions, they learn, at a feeling level, to accept themselves as being worthwhile.This is significant in the development of a positive self-concept.

• Because no choices are made for the child, they  learn to make choices and to be responsible for making their choices.

Even though Garry is talking about a play therapy relationship and not a parenting relationship, when I consider these learning outcomes, I  wonder whether I'm successfully facilitating this kind of learning in my role as parent. I am fully aware of the fact that parenting is not therapy and that the therapeutic relationship described by Garry is a unique one, but I choose to uphold these principles in my relationship with my children, to the best that I can. 

Yes, I do praise; I do evaluate; I make suggestions; I disapprove! But reading this is just such a good reminder of the respect we should have for (our) children! I certainly want my children to have the kind of personal acceptance and self-respect that Garry refers to; and, to be resourceful problem-solvers and to take responsibility for their feelings and their choices. I choose to concentrate on these desired outcomes, using these principles to guide me as I fine tune my own parenting philosophy. 

Shoo, I know this has been a mouthful. Now I would love to hear what you think. 

Reference: Landreth, G (1991). Play therapy The Art of the Relationship. Bristol, USA: Accelerated Learning Inc.