Hermie, a common caterpillar by Max Lucado

I review for Booksneeze - have you heard of them? They offer books to bloggers for free and in return they ask that you review the book for them. Today I'm sharing the story of Hermie, a common caterpillar.

I must say that after reading my very first (and absolutely wonderful) Max Lucado book last year, I was really thrilled to hear that he is also the author of many children's books. So I jumped at the chance to read this one and also to share it with my boys.

The story is about Hermie, and Wormie his best friend,  who meet a number of other insect friends during the course of their day. All of these friends however, have some very special and attractive qualities and as a result these two rather ordinary caterpillars feel quite inadequate in comparison. Hermie and Wormie decide to take their feelings to God, who constantly assures them that he is not done with them yet and that patience is required. Now I don't know about you, but I think that comparing ourselves to others certainly robs us of our joy and this story shares this idea very nicely. There is a lovely (albeit predictable) and inspiring ending and the overriding message that we are all unique and that God has a special plan for each of us is delivered beautifully. I also love the fact that the caterpillars talk to God about their concerns - I think that's a great message for children to hear too.

This book was unfortunately only available as an e-book and I would certainly not recommend this version. Big One (aged 9 at the time) and I read it together and were very puzzled by the lay-out. The images do not always match the text on the page and as a result the book doesn't flow easily and we both found the story to be confusing. I was lucky enough to recently find a soft copy of the book at the library, so I did a little comparison. This copy was far easier to read, in that the illustrations are complimentary to the text, and the illustrations were nicer.  All in all a huge improvement from the e-book version. 

I would definitely keep this one on my bookshelf as a regular read to my children, as I think the message it delivers is fantastic.

Thank you Booksneeze for the opportunity to review Hermie!

PS. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed here are my own.

Silly Valentines

Oh I can be silly - it's one of those things I like about myself - I think my children like it too. 

So I had great fun and giggles thinking up silly Valentines. The kiddos joined me. Big One with his own ideas (as always) and Little One enjoyed punching out little hearts... everywhere... he loves my punches.

Big One's... 

My Inspiration:  

My Heart Is Like a Zoo

A delightful book by Michael Hall - twenty animals all made from heart shapes. And the best part, twenty different emotions and behaviours for you to chat about with your child. It's a super book that can easily be used in play therapy too. Do click on the link above and grab the kids for a super little trailer of the book. Really cute.

Heart Zoo (from Katherine Marie's Happy Hearts Theme of the Week)

My dear friend Katherine inspires me so and makes me look at every piece of pretty or interesting paper in a new fun visually creative light. If you do go visit over there, I know I've probably lost you for now, but that's okay - I won't blame you. :)

Happy Valentine's day!

Let's Play "Doctor Doctor"

"For children to 'play out' their experiences and feelings is the most natural, dynamic and self-healing process in which children can engage." Garry Landreth

Little One has spent a fair amount of time around hospitals and Doctors in the past few months, having undergone two operations in the short space of three months. He has had blood drawn, injections, hep-locks in his hand - there have been a lot of needles involved!

After our first hospital stay, the impact of these events on his play was immediately evident. Suddenly he was playing "Doctor Doctor" every chance he got and the main story line of each little scenario was needles and injections - he and I swopping the patient/doctor role countless times. 

I share this because it's such a good example of the natural healing and therapeutic value that play has. We as adults can talk about our trauma and in so doing work through feelings like fear, anxiety and powerlessness, but children don't have these words, or ability to express them. These emotional experiences that are important to a child or have significantly impacted on them, will often show up as repeated behaviour in their play (Garry Landreth: Play Therapy. The Art of the Relationship). In play therapy, we refer to these as themes.

 (It's okay little dinosaur. It's all over. - Even a T-rex deserves top class medical care :))

After reading How Do Dinosaurs Get Well Soon? (Jane Yolen and Mark Teague), we added dinosaurs to the game and Little One has enjoyed treating the sick dinosaurs in hospital too. Recently I have noticed a marked decrease in his request for "Mommy, you're sick and I'm the Doctor". This probably means that he has sorted out some of his feelings about these experiences and is emotionally ready to move on. The healing power of play at work! :)

Stay tuned. Some more doctor-related fun coming up.

Creating Board Games

I created this board game for play therapy , but Big One spotted it lying on the dining room table and wanted a go.

Board games are generally expensive to purchase and therapeutic board games even more so. As you may know, I am all for making Mommy-made toys and games and it's no different in my approach to play therapy. I really enjoy creating my own play therapy tools. This game was made from an old file and some recycled/rejected business cards, which I sourced from a local printing shop.

You may be wondering how board games fit into play therapy. Some times with older children, I find a game to be quite a non-threatening, playful way to approach more serious issues.

 

The game has pretty basic rules. Throw the dice and depending on where you land, you  either stay put, move forward or back, or pick a card. The card you pick has a word on it. These words include feelings (all sorts) and other words, like "mom, brother, friend, teacher, cheating, honesty, school, home, divorce, bully, punish, protect" etc. All you have to do, is say something about the word that is true for you or your life. 

Big One really enjoyed playing and he was very keen to hear what I had to say when it was my turn to pick a card :). His main priority though, was definitely to win! Don't you think the astronaut counters are cool? (Big One's contribution to the set-up)

Now you don't have to be a play therapist to play this kind of game with your child. You may want to stick to feeling words for starters, but then you could add in some more interesting words. Remember though, that your child must never feel pressurized to make a statement about a card and a statement made should never lead to an interrogation. The tone of the game should be fun.

Have you ever made a home-made board game to play with your child?

PS. I'm linking this to:
It's Playtime!
Show and Tell 
For the Kids Fridays 

Book Buddies

 

Do you remember Maisy? Well she inspired these :)

I made these book buddies to add to books that I gave as Christmas gifts to some special little boys in my life, my nephews! I decided to cut these out free-hand (no pattern) and it surprisingly worked out really nicely. (Perhaps a little bit of luck was involved, 'cause this type of brave cutting can go very wrong sometimes!) I then stitched the felt pieces together, filled the bodies with batting, stitched them up and then glued on the rest.

I won't say much here about The Very Hungry Caterpillar, other than it being a terrific book for a young child (aged 2-5 approx). If you would like to read another post I did about this book, click here.

I do want to tell you a little bit more about Lost and Found, by Oliver Jeffers. But before I do, I need to tell you about another Oliver Jeffer's gem. I was first introduced to this author when a colleague told me about his book How to catch a Star.(Thank you Carey!) Big One and I soon loved this simple, beautifully illustrated story of a little boy who loved stars and very proactively made all sorts of plans to catch a star to be his friend. I think it's a great story about "making a plan" and perseverance when you are faced with a problem.

Lost and Found is about the same little character, who this time tries to help a penguin, who he thinks is lost. In the end, however, he realizes that the penguin is simply lonely and wants a friend. It's another sweet story and a great icebreaker to introduce a conversation about loneliness and friendship. I think that both these books by Oliver Jeffers are great additions to a young child's library (aged 3-6 approx) and are super books to be used in Play Therapy.

Till next time, happy reading!

PS. I am linking this to:

Tot Tuesdays at My Delicious Ambiguity 

Show and Tell at ABC and 123 

Kids Get Crafty at Red Ted's Art Blog

Read.Explore.Learn at JDaniel4's Mom
Feed Me Books Friday @ Little Sprout Books

A Parenting Philosphy

Most of my post university training has been in the field of play therapy. I have attended many play therapy courses over the years, but one that really stands out for me, was a course by Garry Landreth, a child-centered play therapist. Child-centered play therapy is, as Garry puts it, a philosophy for living one's life in relationships with children. It is for this very reason, that I feel compelled to share some of this philosophy with parents.

Garry wrote a wonderful book called Play Therapy-The Art of the Relationship. The last time I read it, was probably before I became a parent. I have recently read it again and it has been so enlightening to look at the philosophy through parent eyes, rather than merely therapist eyes. Something that I want to share with you is what Garry says about how children should learn through play therapy. (I must mention, that when he refers to play therapy, he is referring to child-centered play therapy.)

He says this:

• Because children are allowed to be fully themselves, with no criticism, suggestions, praise, disapproval or any efforts made to change them, they learn self-control and responsible freedom of expression.

• Because children are respected and not evaluated, regardless of their behaviour, they learn to respect themselves.

• Because all their feelings are accepted and understood, even the intense ones, children learn that their feelings are acceptable.

• Because they are allowed to express their intense feelings, they are able to learn how to responsibly control their feelings.

• Because children are allowed to struggle to do things for themselves, they learn to assume responsibility for themselves and to discover what that responsibility feels like.

• Because children are allowed to figure things out for themselves and to come to their own solutions to problems, they learn to be creative and resourceful in confronting problems.

• Because children are allowed to control their own behaviour (within the careful use of therapeutic limits) and can make their own decisions, they learn self-control and self-direction.

• Because they are accepted just as they are, with no conditions, they learn, at a feeling level, to accept themselves as being worthwhile.This is significant in the development of a positive self-concept.

• Because no choices are made for the child, they  learn to make choices and to be responsible for making their choices.

Even though Garry is talking about a play therapy relationship and not a parenting relationship, when I consider these learning outcomes, I  wonder whether I'm successfully facilitating this kind of learning in my role as parent. I am fully aware of the fact that parenting is not therapy and that the therapeutic relationship described by Garry is a unique one, but I choose to uphold these principles in my relationship with my children, to the best that I can. 

Yes, I do praise; I do evaluate; I make suggestions; I disapprove! But reading this is just such a good reminder of the respect we should have for (our) children! I certainly want my children to have the kind of personal acceptance and self-respect that Garry refers to; and, to be resourceful problem-solvers and to take responsibility for their feelings and their choices. I choose to concentrate on these desired outcomes, using these principles to guide me as I fine tune my own parenting philosophy. 

Shoo, I know this has been a mouthful. Now I would love to hear what you think. 

Reference: Landreth, G (1991). Play therapy The Art of the Relationship. Bristol, USA: Accelerated Learning Inc.

Bibliotherapy {Heart Stories}

Have you ever read a book and really connected with it? It touched your heart (and your head) ? It may have been cathartic and allowed you to release some pent-up emotions or perhaps it made you feel less alone, knowing you shared similar feelings and circumstances to the characters. It may have empowered or inspired you, encouraging some resourceful problem-solving. For all of these reasons, a book can really speak to you and may even help you to solve a problem. Perhaps you have done this for your children too. You have intentionally chosen a meaningful story to help them cope with a difficult situation or to encourage them to speak about a circumstance in their lives. In essence, you have been doing a little bit of Bibliotherapy.

Bibliotherapy is using books to help someone address emotional, social or behavioural difficulties. In therapy, a counsellor would take a client through a certain process. As parents, we often just follow our instincts. Although simply reading a story will in all likelihood not solve a problem, it can be good starting point and may open up a valuable discussion with your child. I will often ask my older son what he thinks the moral or message of a story is and I am always surprised by his insights and perspective.

Recently we read "The Tiny Seed" by Eric Carle. It is a beautiful story of a tiny seed that travels through the four seasons and over diverse terrain to eventually land in the soil, ready to germinate into a flower. Although it was the tiniest of all the little seeds, during their travels, many of the bigger seeds were lost along the way due to the elements or for other reasons. This tiny seed however, beats the odds and becomes the most beautiful, extraordinary flower. People come from far and wide to see it, as it grows to tower above the houses!

I think the message in this book is so inspirational. To me it says that no matter the circumstances in our lives, sometimes the extraordinary can happen. If  we have faith, God may in fact surprise us and not only answer our prayers, but exceed all our expectations. For me this is a beautiful , uplifting story of hope! "Heart Stories" is a name I coined for these kinds of  stories...stories that touch, teach, inspire and heal.

The art work in this book is also lovely and we were inspired to do some "Eric Carle art". Eric Carle uses painted tissue paper to create his beautiful and distinctive art work, so I thought to paint ordinary typing paper with a small roller and try to achieve a similar tissue paper effect. I think the paper came out really nicely. Big One then copied a picture (our favourite) from the book. (I helped with the butterflies.)

I think the end result is just lovely (see the top photo). Now I have a wonderful reminder of this book's beautiful message. I definitely need to frame this one.

For more ideas (including class room activities ) linked to this book and other Eric Carle titles, you can visit his website.

I would love to hear about any "Heart Stories" you may have read to your children.

PS. I have linked this to Kids Get Crafty @ Red Ted Art's Blog.

Through children's eyes

One of my greatest delights is seeing the world through my children's eyes.

The other afternoon, after all the rain, I noticed that we had some mushrooms growing in our garden. I got all excited, called the children, and soon we were having a mushroom hunt! At one point, Big One pipes up with, " If you're little, it's good for shade." It was one of those moments when I just want to grab him and kiss him and tell him how cute he is. (I usually do!)

Speaking of mushrooms, I read this in Garry Landreth's book, "The Art of the Relationship": "Some children are like mushrooms, they pop forth overnight. Other children are like orchids; they take seven to twelve years to bloom." (Nutt, 1971) Garry, a play therapist, then goes on to say, that the effective play therapist will wait for orchids and be patient with mushrooms. Each child has his/her own unique approach to how life should be lived.  I think this is not only true for play therapists, but for parents too. So be patient, whether you have orchids or mushrooms!

Reference: Landreth, G. (1991). Play Therapy The Art of the Relationship. Bristol, USA: Accelerated Development Inc.

Colours and Feelings

I was first introduced to connecting feelings and colours in a play therapy course at University. The technique was called Color-Your-Life (See reference below) and it required that a child would connect  different feelings to specific colours. Once they had their feeling-colour pairs, they would then be asked to fill a page with these colours to  represent the feelings they had experienced in their life. For some children this is rather an abstract concept. A piece of white paper hardly represents a "life", so sometimes one needs to model it first. I must mention that the technique is usually used with children aged 6 to 12 years.

 

Now whether I use this technique in therapy or not, I always tell children about feelings and colours. The book Colour Me Happy by Shen Roddie and Ben Cort is a wonderful companion to have in this process and even though the pictures may seem appropriate for a younger child, I can assure you that older children are grabbed by the bold, bright colours and the humour depicted in some of the pictures. If your child doesn't immediately understand the concept of connecting a colour to a feeling, this book really helps.

Before introducing the book though, it is always interesting to see what feelings children will tell you about when asked. Sometimes they will leave out a feeling that you may consider significant, such as feeling "afraid". but will add a less discussed one, such as "confused". The choice of feelings can give you an idea of what your child may be experiencing at the moment. Remember that children for the most part operate in the here-and-now, so will probably talk about feelings that are relevant to them on that particular day.

Here are some more ideas for using colours and feelings:

Draw a picture of a feeling face or feeling person in the feeling colour that is chosen  by your child and use these pictures to make Feeling Cards. Paste them on some card stock and stick them up in your child's room. It's so easy then to point at a card and say "I'm feeling like this today!". That reminds me, remember to label your feelings out loud, so that your little one hears you acknowledging it.

The Pick-Up-Sticks Game (See reference below) is a another fun way to encourage children to talk about feelings. When your child is familiar with colour-feeling pairs, you can play a traditional game of Pick-Up-Sticks, however when you pick up a stick, you need to tell about a time when you had the feeling associated with the colour of the stick. Remember to share your feelings too. Children want to hear about Mom and Dad's feelings and it's a great time to model the appropriate sharing of feelings.

Most importantly, these games are meant to be fun! If your child resists, try again on another day or think of a different variation. I would always love to hear what colour-feeling games you have come up with. Please leave comments below. I love receiving them.

References:

The Color-Your-Life Technique(Kevin J. O'Conner, 1983). In C.E. Schaefer and K.J. O'Conner (Eds), Handbook of Play Therapy. New York, Wiley, 252-258

The Pick-Up-Sticks Game (Barbara McDowell). In H. Kaduson and C.E. Schaefer (Eds), 101 Favorite Play Therapy Techniques. Aronson, 1997, 145-149

PS. I have linked this to: Show and Tell @ ABC and 123